If casting incredulous glances at the camera were an art, The Office's John Krasinski would be Pablo Picasso. He's smart, goofy, and pretty unaware of how absolutely cute he is. (I don't actually know anything about John Krasinski, so I'm pretending he and Jim Halpert are the same person). And who wouldn't want to be his partner in crime for all those pranks he plays on Dwight? Absolutely priceless.
September 28, 2007
John Krasinski
If casting incredulous glances at the camera were an art, The Office's John Krasinski would be Pablo Picasso. He's smart, goofy, and pretty unaware of how absolutely cute he is. (I don't actually know anything about John Krasinski, so I'm pretending he and Jim Halpert are the same person). And who wouldn't want to be his partner in crime for all those pranks he plays on Dwight? Absolutely priceless.
September 23, 2007
Skeet: International Edition
Legend of Tim Cameron's astonishing wang travels in awed whispers across the nation; women in all fifty states tremble with anticipation of his stateside arrival. New York architects furrow their brows and wring their hands, realizing that soon their most magnificent skyscrapers will be put to shame, shadowed by Tim's resplendant dong. They say anyone within a fifty mile radius of his godly sceptre will spontaneously orgasm, abandoning all tasks to quakes of wild passion. Oh, and did I mention that he's also brilliant, obscenely hilarious, and has a voice of pure sex? Well, it's true.
September 9, 2007
Gutentag, Daniel Bruhl (eins svei drei skeet!)
Okay, so most of us know Daniel Bruhl from his brief cameo in "Bourne Ultimatum", but this foreign ambassador from a hidden colony of hot Germans is not to be missed. He rocked in "Goodbye, Lenin!", and let's not forget his recent stint as a fast-food bomber in "2 Days in Paris". Alright, so I personally did not like him in "The Edukators", but I suppose it is wardrobe's fault for making him into an unattractive member of the misgruntled German proletariat. Look at those eyebrows. They are mere conduits of sex-stares. His eyes are even sexing you as you read this. If only all of Germany could learn from Daniel Bruhl's fine example of hotnesss. Especially you, Hamburg. Had Daniel Bruhl been there during our brief visit, perhaps we wouldn't have needed buckets of absinthe to make the locals seem somewhat appealing. No wonder it's legal there.
Michael Cera
Oh man. Michael Cera is possibly the most promising comedic actor today, mainly because he has absolutely no qualms about making a situation as uncomfortable as humanly possible. Whether he's falling in love with his cousin or warding off the lascivious advances of an inebriated classmate, Cera has turned awkwardness into an art. Since his turn on Arrested Development, Cera has been all over the internet, both with parodies of OTHER internet videos, and with a limited-run show produced with his real-life best friend, Clark Duke. On top of all of that, he's absolutely adorable. After the runaway success of this summer's Superbad, we can only hope we'll be seeing more of Michael in the future.
May 14, 2007
Well Now
Sadly, the Skeet Blog seems somewhat unnecessary and irrelevant now that we are all back in the U.S. and we are all taken ladies. Since we are in different states, we can no longer stalk guys together and get all googly-eyed (as Debbie would say) over them. And ironically, there are many more attractive young men in the States, but who cares, because we've all got fabulous boyfs now. This post has gone about as well as possible, considering the events of the last half of the semester melted my brain and gave me fetal alcohol syndrome. This is the most complex and sense-filled (...yeah) thing I've written in weeks. Maybe I'll just print and submit the Skeet Blog to Susanne in lieu of my cinema paper... Who's with me??
May 3, 2007
Local Skeet of the Week
The SLH (a.k.a. Michael of Television Room, The Marshals)
He's got a great singing voice, he's a talented songwriter and musician, and he has fantastic taste in everything ever. He doesn't use retarded abbreviations in text messages either, which is definitely a big plus. This picture doesn't do him justice, but he's got dreamy eyes and an adorably cute shy smile which wins me over every time. Well done, SLH. Well done.
He's got a great singing voice, he's a talented songwriter and musician, and he has fantastic taste in everything ever. He doesn't use retarded abbreviations in text messages either, which is definitely a big plus. This picture doesn't do him justice, but he's got dreamy eyes and an adorably cute shy smile which wins me over every time. Well done, SLH. Well done.
April 13, 2007
Gideon Yago
skeet skeet (so cute!) skeet
Okay, so I know I am obsessed with all things 90s, but really, what was more quintessential than everyone's childhood crush of this MTV news correspondent? Move over John Norris, Gideon Yago was emo before anyone even knew what it was, thanks to his black rimmed glasses and adorably shy demeanor. Not only is this kid cute, he graduated from Columbia and is now a political activist (sha-wing). He is a fossil of MTV's Tri-Awesome Period, and I for one am greatly saddened by his decision to work in real media. Also, according to Wikipedia, his lapptop was stolen. Stay strong Gideon, omgskeet is there for you.
Okay, so I know I am obsessed with all things 90s, but really, what was more quintessential than everyone's childhood crush of this MTV news correspondent? Move over John Norris, Gideon Yago was emo before anyone even knew what it was, thanks to his black rimmed glasses and adorably shy demeanor. Not only is this kid cute, he graduated from Columbia and is now a political activist (sha-wing). He is a fossil of MTV's Tri-Awesome Period, and I for one am greatly saddened by his decision to work in real media. Also, according to Wikipedia, his lapptop was stolen. Stay strong Gideon, omgskeet is there for you.
Local Skeet of the Week
Gaz, of The Kinetiks
At first he seems cocky and ridiculous, until you realize that's just his way of "lubricating the situation", as Olivia says. He's cute, he's got a good voice, and he's maybe a tad overly fond of makeup (although he might have just been trying to get closer to Alison). On top of that, he bested me in a Beatles trivia-off, which simply demands respect. What else is there to say?
At first he seems cocky and ridiculous, until you realize that's just his way of "lubricating the situation", as Olivia says. He's cute, he's got a good voice, and he's maybe a tad overly fond of makeup (although he might have just been trying to get closer to Alison). On top of that, he bested me in a Beatles trivia-off, which simply demands respect. What else is there to say?
April 7, 2007
Jeff Goldblum
Skeet, skeet.
There's almost no way to describe Jeff Goldblum without making him sound like a creepy uncle you'd never want to be left alone with, but that's all part of his charm. Sure, he's skeezy, and rumor has it he watches you poop, but he's also endearingly sarcastic, a valued commodity at this blag. He's ruggedly handsome, totally rocks horn-rimmed glasses, and is earnest without ever abandoning his carefully honed sense of detached irony. Also, he's Jewish, which is awesome.
There's almost no way to describe Jeff Goldblum without making him sound like a creepy uncle you'd never want to be left alone with, but that's all part of his charm. Sure, he's skeezy, and rumor has it he watches you poop, but he's also endearingly sarcastic, a valued commodity at this blag. He's ruggedly handsome, totally rocks horn-rimmed glasses, and is earnest without ever abandoning his carefully honed sense of detached irony. Also, he's Jewish, which is awesome.
April 1, 2007
Local Skeet of the Week
Our favorite DJ at Doyle's.
This picture totally sucks, and I apologize. But in its defense, it's always pretty dark in Doyle's, and this guy always has his head down, so this is probably the best look we've gotten at him too. He's like the abominable snowman, except a kind of dorky in a CUTE way DJ. But getting to the point! Our favorite DJ typically plays some pretty good music, and he's sheepish. And that's a cute characteristic as well as a cute word. He usually plays our requests, recognizes us and says hello when we come in, and totally checks Betty out. Snoogins. Rock on cute DJ, rock on.
This picture totally sucks, and I apologize. But in its defense, it's always pretty dark in Doyle's, and this guy always has his head down, so this is probably the best look we've gotten at him too. He's like the abominable snowman, except a kind of dorky in a CUTE way DJ. But getting to the point! Our favorite DJ typically plays some pretty good music, and he's sheepish. And that's a cute characteristic as well as a cute word. He usually plays our requests, recognizes us and says hello when we come in, and totally checks Betty out. Snoogins. Rock on cute DJ, rock on.
March 30, 2007
Gael Garcia Bernal
Skeet, skeet, skeet.
There's not a girl alive who has seen Y Tu Mama Tambien and NOT been overcome with lust for Gael Garcia Bernal. In Michel Gondry's Science of Sleep, Bernal portrays a character who is so heartwrenchingly insecure, it's impossible not to fall in love with him, even as you are frustrated with him. He doesn't shy away from controversial roles, such as in Almodovar's Bad Education. It doesn't hurt that he manages to be naked in a lot of his films, either. (I haven't seen The Motorcycle Diaries, but I assume Che Guevara took off his pants at some point in his life, between printing up t-shirts, right?) Anyway, he's clever, he's introspective, and he's not wearing clothes. I am SO all over that.
There's not a girl alive who has seen Y Tu Mama Tambien and NOT been overcome with lust for Gael Garcia Bernal. In Michel Gondry's Science of Sleep, Bernal portrays a character who is so heartwrenchingly insecure, it's impossible not to fall in love with him, even as you are frustrated with him. He doesn't shy away from controversial roles, such as in Almodovar's Bad Education. It doesn't hurt that he manages to be naked in a lot of his films, either. (I haven't seen The Motorcycle Diaries, but I assume Che Guevara took off his pants at some point in his life, between printing up t-shirts, right?) Anyway, he's clever, he's introspective, and he's not wearing clothes. I am SO all over that.
Leonardo DiCaprio
(3) SKEET!
How was Leonardo DiCaprio NOT up here before? After drooling over him in Titanic, he has proven to not be a teenage one-hit wonder a la "Growing Pains". Thank you "Catch Me If You Can", "The Departed" and "Blood Diamond" for giving me new and ever-changing material for my increasingly passionate Leo fantasies. Leo is the Robert Redford of our generation. His hotness is the marker of an ERA. And may we all be blessed with his hotness forever and ever. Amen.
How was Leonardo DiCaprio NOT up here before? After drooling over him in Titanic, he has proven to not be a teenage one-hit wonder a la "Growing Pains". Thank you "Catch Me If You Can", "The Departed" and "Blood Diamond" for giving me new and ever-changing material for my increasingly passionate Leo fantasies. Leo is the Robert Redford of our generation. His hotness is the marker of an ERA. And may we all be blessed with his hotness forever and ever. Amen.
March 28, 2007
Ewan McGregor
Skeets up for review. (But believe me, he's skeeting everywhere.)
And frankly, I'm turned on. Ever since we saw Ewan McGregor getting a handjob in "Nora", we've been unable to get him out of our heads. With that creepy mustache/goatee combo, greasy hair, and the ridiculously tiny spectacles, Ewan McGregor was never dreamier than when he portrayed the alluringly perverted James Joyce. The sex wasn't bad either. (I'm just posting this to make Betty and Olivia squirm.) And who could forget those awesome white suits and rattan hats? HOT. ...Too soon?
And frankly, I'm turned on. Ever since we saw Ewan McGregor getting a handjob in "Nora", we've been unable to get him out of our heads. With that creepy mustache/goatee combo, greasy hair, and the ridiculously tiny spectacles, Ewan McGregor was never dreamier than when he portrayed the alluringly perverted James Joyce. The sex wasn't bad either. (I'm just posting this to make Betty and Olivia squirm.) And who could forget those awesome white suits and rattan hats? HOT. ...Too soon?
March 27, 2007
Cillian Murphy
Aww, skeet, skeet, skeet.
Ever since we saw him naked in the opening scene of 28 Days Later, we haven't been able to take our eyes off Cillian Murphy. He's fought against rage-infected zombies, the British occupants of Northern Ireland, and Batman. He's pretty much a badass, is what I am saying, although he's not above playing charmingly insecure characters, like in Intermission. Take into consideration his bright blue eyes and devastating cheekbones, and there's no resisting him.
Ever since we saw him naked in the opening scene of 28 Days Later, we haven't been able to take our eyes off Cillian Murphy. He's fought against rage-infected zombies, the British occupants of Northern Ireland, and Batman. He's pretty much a badass, is what I am saying, although he's not above playing charmingly insecure characters, like in Intermission. Take into consideration his bright blue eyes and devastating cheekbones, and there's no resisting him.
Ryan Gosling
SKEET SKEET SKEEEET
So I haven't seen Half Nelson yet, but Ryan Gosling is just so damn attractive that I'm pretty sure the movie can't be anything less than amazing. Okay, i'm basing his skeetaliciousness solely off of the intellectual thriller, "The Notebook", but wasn't he adorable?? When my roommate spotted him with Rachel McAdams at the Dean and Deluca on University, he was extremely gracious and very willing to give her an autograph. AWWW. And even though he was born in a place ridiculously named "London, Ontario" i'm willing to overlook that. In fact, if he asked me to sleep with him, I might just let his ridiculous birth place slide.
So I haven't seen Half Nelson yet, but Ryan Gosling is just so damn attractive that I'm pretty sure the movie can't be anything less than amazing. Okay, i'm basing his skeetaliciousness solely off of the intellectual thriller, "The Notebook", but wasn't he adorable?? When my roommate spotted him with Rachel McAdams at the Dean and Deluca on University, he was extremely gracious and very willing to give her an autograph. AWWW. And even though he was born in a place ridiculously named "London, Ontario" i'm willing to overlook that. In fact, if he asked me to sleep with him, I might just let his ridiculous birth place slide.
March 25, 2007
Jason Schwartzman
Skeet skeet... skeet.
"It feels like someone's throwing marshmallows at my ass." Someone is throwing marshmallows at your ass, Jason Schwartzman, and it's me. Jason Schwartzman (henceforth being referred to as, "The Schwartz") may have unconventional good looks and some intergalactic eyebrows, but that never stopped me before (what?). Wes Anderson's darling, The Schwartz was something like 15 when he starred in Rushmore, and was the drummer for Phantom Planet (before he got way too cool to hang out with those guys, with major parts in Spun and Shopgirl). Let's not forget how he rode a unicycle in Slackers, as Cool Ethan. He's never not cool, and one of the few men that looks good with a 5 o'clock shadow. And that, my friends, is bitchin'.
Correction: So he was like 18 in Rushmore. I swear to Gob someone told me he was only 15, and whoever that was is a damn dirty liar. And besides, you're not reading this to get the facts, you're here to ogle hot men. If you wanted facts you'd be on IMDB, and we can't say enough nice things about that site.
"It feels like someone's throwing marshmallows at my ass." Someone is throwing marshmallows at your ass, Jason Schwartzman, and it's me. Jason Schwartzman (henceforth being referred to as, "The Schwartz") may have unconventional good looks and some intergalactic eyebrows, but that never stopped me before (what?). Wes Anderson's darling, The Schwartz was something like 15 when he starred in Rushmore, and was the drummer for Phantom Planet (before he got way too cool to hang out with those guys, with major parts in Spun and Shopgirl). Let's not forget how he rode a unicycle in Slackers, as Cool Ethan. He's never not cool, and one of the few men that looks good with a 5 o'clock shadow. And that, my friends, is bitchin'.Correction: So he was like 18 in Rushmore. I swear to Gob someone told me he was only 15, and whoever that was is a damn dirty liar. And besides, you're not reading this to get the facts, you're here to ogle hot men. If you wanted facts you'd be on IMDB, and we can't say enough nice things about that site.
March 23, 2007
Rivers Cuomo
Skeet, skeet, and oh my god skeet.
So, he kind of went crazy, and we won't really discuss their most recent album because I am pretending it never happened, but Rivers is still one of the smartest, sexiest, geekiest frontmen ever. He's a great performer, he has a sense of humor, and he just got a doctorate from Harvard. What's NOT to love? Also, this is probably one of the most swoon-worthy music videos of all time.
So, he kind of went crazy, and we won't really discuss their most recent album because I am pretending it never happened, but Rivers is still one of the smartest, sexiest, geekiest frontmen ever. He's a great performer, he has a sense of humor, and he just got a doctorate from Harvard. What's NOT to love? Also, this is probably one of the most swoon-worthy music videos of all time.
March 21, 2007
Mark Wahlberg
skeet, skeet, and thrice skeet
Okay so maybe we didn't take him seriously before (Planet of the Apes, ahem) but after The Departed, I'm pretty sure it's cool to drool over Marky Mark again. He is fucking talented, not to mention insanely good looking. He could have remained a coke-snorting model, but he instead chose a different, more skeetable path. So mazletov, Mark Wahlberg, for being a fucking hot actor.
Okay so maybe we didn't take him seriously before (Planet of the Apes, ahem) but after The Departed, I'm pretty sure it's cool to drool over Marky Mark again. He is fucking talented, not to mention insanely good looking. He could have remained a coke-snorting model, but he instead chose a different, more skeetable path. So mazletov, Mark Wahlberg, for being a fucking hot actor.
March 20, 2007
Emile Hirsch
Skeet skeet skeet.
So maybe he's like 15 in this picture, but Emile Hirsch (now a totally legal, totally fair game adult) is really hot. From a young age he's chosen varied and sometimes risky roles in film (we'll let "Girl Next Door" slide) and always given stellar performances. From "The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys" to "Lords of Dogtown," and the new "Alpha Dog", Hirsch has displayed his versatility and talent while remaining hot as any character. And he's got green eyes. AND he can skate, well enough to look good in a movie anyway, and that's major points in my book. The end.
So maybe he's like 15 in this picture, but Emile Hirsch (now a totally legal, totally fair game adult) is really hot. From a young age he's chosen varied and sometimes risky roles in film (we'll let "Girl Next Door" slide) and always given stellar performances. From "The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys" to "Lords of Dogtown," and the new "Alpha Dog", Hirsch has displayed his versatility and talent while remaining hot as any character. And he's got green eyes. AND he can skate, well enough to look good in a movie anyway, and that's major points in my book. The end.
March 19, 2007
Local Skeet of the Week
Skeet Skeet
Okay, so this kid MIGHT be 16. But the girls of omgskeet are not ageist. Just shallow. When we spotted him during one of Dublin's many 2 second blizzards, we knew we'd found our boy. Yeah, he was with his Dad, but we'll just attribute that to his sensitive and family-oriented personality. Congratulations, Unknown Hottie, for being one of the few boys in Ireland that does not look inbred. We salute you.
Okay, so this kid MIGHT be 16. But the girls of omgskeet are not ageist. Just shallow. When we spotted him during one of Dublin's many 2 second blizzards, we knew we'd found our boy. Yeah, he was with his Dad, but we'll just attribute that to his sensitive and family-oriented personality. Congratulations, Unknown Hottie, for being one of the few boys in Ireland that does not look inbred. We salute you.
Jack White
Skeet, skeet, skeet!
The most important member of indie-rock duo The White Stripes, the only person anyone remembers from The Raconteurs, and the savior of blues guitar, Jack White is talented enough to melt any girl's heart. He also gets props for his amazing music video collaborations with Michel Gondry, giving the only watchable performance in Cold Mountain, and lying in every interview he's ever given. Okay, so he got in a bar fight with that guy from The Von Bondies, but he was defending Meg's honor, and even his mug shot is sexy. Need further convincing? Watch his 2003 Grammy's performance of Seven Nation Army and Death Letter. If that doesn't do it for you, you have no soul and are probably already dead from the waist down.
The most important member of indie-rock duo The White Stripes, the only person anyone remembers from The Raconteurs, and the savior of blues guitar, Jack White is talented enough to melt any girl's heart. He also gets props for his amazing music video collaborations with Michel Gondry, giving the only watchable performance in Cold Mountain, and lying in every interview he's ever given. Okay, so he got in a bar fight with that guy from The Von Bondies, but he was defending Meg's honor, and even his mug shot is sexy. Need further convincing? Watch his 2003 Grammy's performance of Seven Nation Army and Death Letter. If that doesn't do it for you, you have no soul and are probably already dead from the waist down.
March 18, 2007
Joseph Gordon-Levitt
Skeet, skeet, SKEET.
You may remember him as that girly-looking kid with long hair from "Angels in the Outfield" or the TV series "3rd Rock From the Sun", but he grew up, cut his hair, and is now really hot and in good movies. So, that's major points. He most recently starred in the modern, noir-detective film "Brick", as well as "Manic" and "Mysterious Skin". They all rule. He's a good actor in good movies. I don't care about making this well-written; he's hot and talented, that's all I have to say.
You may remember him as that girly-looking kid with long hair from "Angels in the Outfield" or the TV series "3rd Rock From the Sun", but he grew up, cut his hair, and is now really hot and in good movies. So, that's major points. He most recently starred in the modern, noir-detective film "Brick", as well as "Manic" and "Mysterious Skin". They all rule. He's a good actor in good movies. I don't care about making this well-written; he's hot and talented, that's all I have to say.
March 17, 2007
Justin Theroux
skeet skeet skeet
Although he's starred in Duplex, don't let that fool you. This man is David Lynch's gay wet dream. He speaks fluent chinese and enjoys gardening with his huge black labrador retriever. How cute is that? Plus he's mega talented, and, thanks to Charlie's Angels 2, we know he has a killer six-pack.
Although he's starred in Duplex, don't let that fool you. This man is David Lynch's gay wet dream. He speaks fluent chinese and enjoys gardening with his huge black labrador retriever. How cute is that? Plus he's mega talented, and, thanks to Charlie's Angels 2, we know he has a killer six-pack.
Michael Showalter
Skeet, skeet, skeet.
Michael Showalter is the quintessential dorky nice guy, a character he's perfected in films such as Wet Hot American Summer and The Baxter. Beneath his awkward exterior, however, is a great sense of dry, absurdist humor. As one of the key players in sketch comedy shows The State and Stella, Showalter showcased his brilliant wit (as well as his huge brown eyes). Dreamy to the max.
Michael Showalter is the quintessential dorky nice guy, a character he's perfected in films such as Wet Hot American Summer and The Baxter. Beneath his awkward exterior, however, is a great sense of dry, absurdist humor. As one of the key players in sketch comedy shows The State and Stella, Showalter showcased his brilliant wit (as well as his huge brown eyes). Dreamy to the max.
Damon Albarn
Skeet, skeet, skeet. (3 of 3 possible skeets)
Not only is Damon Albarn the adorably scruffy frontman for 90s Britpop group Blur, he's also responsible for one of the most innovative concepts in pop music ever: Gorillaz. His piercing eyes and crooked grin along with his charmingly self-effacing performances, swoon-worthy voice, and musical ingenuity making Albarn worthy of our highest score, three skeets.
Not only is Damon Albarn the adorably scruffy frontman for 90s Britpop group Blur, he's also responsible for one of the most innovative concepts in pop music ever: Gorillaz. His piercing eyes and crooked grin along with his charmingly self-effacing performances, swoon-worthy voice, and musical ingenuity making Albarn worthy of our highest score, three skeets.
March 16, 2007
It's a Social Commentary, Really
Yes, we know what skeet means. It's a verb, defined in the Urban Dictionary as: "To shoot your man juice up on ur bitch." Clearly then, a woman cannot "skeet" because she lacks "man juice" and the term could be seen as derogatory or offensive to women. Our use of the word is a way to take control away from our oppressors and into our own hands. We're empowering our gender through irony. And if history has taught us anything, use of the word "skeet" will be symbolically outlawed in New York City in about a hundred years, and musicians who use the word will not be allowed to win shitty awards.
March 15, 2007
What is Skeetworthy?
Skeetworthiness is an indefinable blend of physical attractiveness, charm, talent, sense of humor, and other qualities that elude description.
Obviously, this is a pretty subjective science. Fortunately, Alison, Olivia, and I have excellent taste, and are never wrong about anything.
Obviously, this is a pretty subjective science. Fortunately, Alison, Olivia, and I have excellent taste, and are never wrong about anything.
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